The following story was originally dated July 10th, 1999.
Howdy neighbors! Well, it’s me again. This time, I’ve got a short little tale for you which, although diminutive in length, is one of my lovely wife’s’ favorites. I hope that you all enjoy it as much as she does.
Let’s see, now. I believe we’ll call this one..
“The Incredible Watermelon Bandits!!”
Once upon a time, (don’t ya just love a story that starts like that!), there were two country boys from the great state of Arkansas. For the sake of this story, we’ll call them——Jim and Rickie. (Catchy kinda names, huh??). These young fellows were still in school at the time of this story, and attending their 11th year in the boring and humdrum educational system provided to them by the small county they lived in.
Something had to be done about the lack of excitement that they lived with!
So, for a brief period of time, they took up the century-old art of watermelon theft!!
There’s something about the flavor and taste of a stolen melon that is matched only by the flavor of a stolen kiss! Anyway, late at night, these two rascals would creep into the neighboring city of Lake City, Arkansas, where there was a farmer who managed to grow the biggest, juiciest watermelons anywhere around. Two or three times a week, these late-night banditos would silently slide into the 20 acre patch— and then be off with two or three examples of Mother Natures’ finest!
This farmer was no idiot, and eventually spotted the missing melons from his patch. Realizing his problem, he came up with what he thought was a perfect solution. Laughing to himself, he sat himself down and made up—
The very next night, our two lawbreaking heroes arrive at their rendezvous in melon world–only to discover that at the front of the patch… their flashlight’s beam shown on—
The sign read as follows:
“ATTENTION!! STEAL NO MELONS FROM THIS PATCH!! SOMEWHERE IN THIS PATCH, THERE IS ONE POISONED WATERMELON!!!”
The two lads, with a laugh and a giggle, take a couple of the large juicy treasures—-and then, with a small ink pen, they leave their own little message!!!!!
The foxy farmer awakens the next morning, dashes down to his field—-and sees another spot where giant melons once rested. His head slowly turns… and his eyes look with horror at
In very small letters, there is this little message: Now there’s two!!!!!!
Thanks again for listening to me and my Ramblins’, and I hope to see you all here next month—same time—same station.
Copyright © Rickie Lee Reynolds