Dandy’s Divine Comedy

   I’m about individuality and freedom of speech for change. I’m an agitator, but I’m a bullshit eliminator. I’m that wild card piece of work of which you’ve heard…that irresistible urge and keeper of the word. I’m Nature takin’ its coarse from where you least expect it. I’m always to blame, but with it comes the credit. I’m the genuine article, the Real Jim Dandy. You’re either gonna love me or ya just can’t stand me.

  I hope that someday, someone will think to drink to ol’ Dandy after I die… and then, as they make their toast, they’ll feel my ghost pass through their souls and out the other side.

  Elvis was the King, Jesus is the Man, Jerry Lee was the Killer… and Peter was the Pan. Hitler was the Fuhrer and Mussolini was El Duce. The Rolling Stones gathered no moss…and are still with us today. The metal sound of angry youth is Rage Against the Machine, if you know what I mean!

  I am the Dandy, and you’re either gonna love me or ya just can’t stand me. Okay, it’s true… there are some that wanna kick my ass, but ain’t got the nerve to try, and the ones that do are tough and true… and already on my side. Yeah, for those who love me… for them, I’ll say again, that a little bit of me goes a long way, it seems. For them, my spirit is the stuff of dreams. I am the gatekeeper; I hold the key. Finger-pointing backstabbers don’t get past me. Some say I’m outta my head, and some have even said they’ve seen demons jump outta my chest! Well, I don’t know what they were on, but that just ain’t true. I think I would have known if demons were jumpin’ outta my chest, don’t you?

  I say to Hell with all of those sanctimonious, self-righteous, judgmental sons-of-bitches… always tryin’ to put me down! You better watch out, you old hypocrites; your children might be the next ones we get. Put your money where your nose is. There’s no way outta this, it’s true, and if my nose was full of money, honey… I’d blow it all on you! I’m irresistible, indestructible, a monkey on the back of the world; a wild animal…unpredictable, with enough guts to give it a whirl.  

  Now for all of those who have always believed in the spirit in me, I’ll always be ready to come to your rescue. You sure came to mine.

  All of y’all know that I’m not sad, but there’s a real good chance I might be mad, but not angry. I’m just Dandy, and you’re either gonna love me or ya just can’t stand me. So for those who love me, you’re like family… ‘cause you can understand me, and for you, I say welcome to Dandy’s Rock and Roll Inferno blow your mind but always Devine Comedie… where truth is always stranger than fiction. The truth is this proves without a doubt… drivin’ me crazy is a very short drive! There are no speed limitations or brain police interrogations, only destiny’s vision of a glorious mission… where we achieve bringin’ justice to the deserving who have righteous intentions. There’s just one more thing that I’d like to say if you’re hearin’ me. The thing which gives me the most pride… while I’m still alive… is that I get to be a thorn in the side of tyranny.

  I am the real Jim Dandy. You’re either gonna love me or ya just can’t stand me.

    The Dandy”